Michaela S

Known for her love of the hoe life and her otherworldly talent for applying false eyelashes, Michaela enraptures many a man with her on point highlighter and questionable humour. Often seen at the club or bemoaning her degree at Sephora, Michaela is known as a strong believer in the feminist movement and does not believe in the judgement or discrimination of women based on their sexuality, rejecting common derogatory insults such as "slut". Her rise to hoe fame is linked to her bizarre year long affair with eyebrow enthusiast Tommy P.

Early Life
Born and bred in the elite suburb of Brighton, Michaela's affluent upbringing extended to her P-12 private girls school education. She has an older sister, whom she annoys with her flakiness.

In her youth, she was known to frequently sit in rubbish bins during classes, and the concept of "Mick in the Bin" became wildly popular within the year level, even featuring in 9 Red's adaptation of "A Thousand Miles".

See also: Tommy/Mick Relationship Timeline
At the beginning of Year 12, after connecting at Alex G's 17th birthday gathering, Michaela S and Tommy P began a relationship that was far from romantic or sexual. Both refrained from engaging in sexual activity or acknowledgement of the other for most of 2015, despite clearly being smitten with one another.

At Bella B's 18th birthday party in August, the two were photographed "hooking" for the first time on a couch, although both still maintained that they were not an item, and were waiting until the end of VCE exams before DTR (defining the relationship). However, as the time approached, both were too shy and mild-mannered to take charge and DTR, and it took for Michaela's Year 12 formal in December for them to finally address their issues.

At some point in July, Michaela secretly lost her kissing virginity to another at a club - not her beloved Tommy. To this day he is still unaware of this fact, as the knowledge of this would probably destroy him and leave him to allow his eyebrows to grow out for at least 2 weeks from the trauma.

Dissolution
Tommy accompanied Michaela to the formal, but upon observing her drinking, decided to "man up" and get drunk for the very first time that night. Michaela was forced to spend her evening in his company, making sure he didn't throw up or pass out at both the formal and after party. Understandably she was upset with the outcome of the night, and the two got into a heated argument via text message days later. Finally, at Felicity and Nelle's joint 18th birthday party, Michaela 'broke up' with Tommy (although the two had never DTR as a dating relationship) and the two parted ways.

The Hoe Phase
Beginning in 2016, Michaela made a vow to not emotionally commit herself to anyone lest they be secretly a lesbian or too emotionally volatile for her cold heart to comprehend. Michaela proved herself to be a ratchet bitch by allowing herself to be fingered by her next paramour George R in the club before allowing him to sneak into her bedroom and deflower her on the morning of her birthday, whilst playing Soundcloud Minimal Remixes from his iPhone4. Later on, George also requested she partake in a threesome with himself and his best mate Matt (who Michaela had previously tried to set up with Maddi W), which Michaela firmly declined.

Michaela then moved on to bigger and better dicks. She encountered many a man who taught her much in the ways of love making and the joys of lube. Included in this list was Lucky Coq guy, Old Man Lube and Mitch the Bitch (who did not penetrate with his member, rather digitally).

At present, Josh I and Nathaniel P are both madly in love with her, though she does not return their feelings.

The Naughty Narre Warren Era
Michaela met her new paramour, Hayden, over Tinder and the two immediately struck up some quality banter. After lamenting the distance between Michaela's native Brighton and Hayden's hometown of Narre Warren, the two finally met up to see a movie in Gold Class because nothing says fancy like spilling sweet chilli sauce on your top during a date.

Initially, Michaela has resisted the vaginal urge to consummate the relationship, and Hayden possibly has mistaken her for a virgin. In light of this (or not, boys minds are complex surprisingly), Hayden invited Michaela to dinner to meet his parents which went fabulously. Not too long after, Michaela introduced him to not only her parents, but sister, Grandmother and Aunt, who all adored the sparky who has lit a spark in what was previously assumed to be Michaela's cold, loveless heart. It was at this dinner that they finally defined the relationship and committed to being boyfriend/girlfriend.

Trouble in Outer Suburban Paradise
After a rather blissful 2 and a half years, the sex between them dwindled, having to be scheduled in rather depressingly. As the pollen of springtime 2019 rolled through Melbourne, the two decided to part ways, both realising that the chemistry had gone capoot.

Hoe Phase 2: Return of the Hoe
THE BITCH IS BACK.

SHE'S DOWNLOADED DATING APPS.

SHE'S TAKEN A PREGNANCY TEST.

ROUND TWO PEOPLE BRACE YOURSELVES.